Valentine’s Day dinner

Valentine’s Day dinner: red beans soup

I prepared this soup for my husband because it’s his favorite (with rice).

What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic. I met my husband, Stewart, 22 years ago when I was finishing grad school. We met in a very unconventional way when he sent me an instant message on AOL. I was a little apprehensive about responding to his instant message, as there was taboo about folks chatting on the internet, being in chat rooms, and even worst, connecting. I took a chance and responded even without knowing what he looked like. Back then (1999), on America Online profiles, there were no photos, the technology didn’t exist then. For instance, I had the following information on my profile:

Username: vogue747
Name: Black beauty
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Computer: 486

I wasn’t looking for love, love found me. I was merely minding my business on my second-hand computer (which btw was taking up a lot of space in my bedroom), researching Ph.D. programs at McGill University. I eventually responded to this desperate man’s 4th attempt to connect. Back then, there were stories about online connections and folks actually “being killed through the internet.” I certainly didn’t want to be another statistic. However, my curiosity got the best of me.

After I responded, he asked about my username. He wanted to know whether I was a flight attendant (the numbers 747). I politely replied, “no,” hoping that he would move along to his next victim. He mentioned that he was based in New York but was born in London. He then proceeded to ask if I was born in Canada or I had migrated to Canada. I told him that I was born on the very tiny island of Dominica in the Caribbean, and moved to Toronto with my family. He then reveal that he knows about Dominica. I interjected politely and told him that it’s very often mistaken with the Dominican Republic. I started schooling him about the difference, showing off my historical smarts. After I was done typing, he mentioned that his father is from Dominica and that when he left London, he migrated back to the island. I decided to test this man, who was trying to get to me. So I asked him, “Where on the island of Dominica does your dad live?” He mentioned that his father lives Massacre and that his dad is from Petite Savanne / Petite Soufriere area. I couldn’t resist the urge to learn more about him. I messaged my number so that he could call me. We quickly moved to the telephone and pagers, and within three months, we were building a home together and engaged to be married.

I was 24 at the time we met, and everyone around me was skeptical about this incredible man. The questions started to fly, “Is he married?’, “Does he have kids?” “Is he for real?” “Is he a serial killer?”, “What does he do?”, “Where did you meet him?” We lied about that for a while. We said that we met in Ottawa. I also had my girlfriend, Joania, lie for me as well. I knew that my friends and family would embrace him less if they knew that we met “over the internet.” My parents were very strict Dominican parents, who up to this point still scolded me for stepping out of line, and they kept a firm hold on their three daughters (Maureen, Marva and Mayma). My brother, Carlton, who lives in Miami, wasn’t held to the same standards, but the girls were protected. And even though I was considered the rebel of the three (I’m the baby), they still had iron-clad fists over me.

We were married within a year of our engagement, and I moved to New York right after our honeymoon in Bora Bora. Although the move was hard for my family, they felt relieved that Stew was a great guy. My family loves my husband like he’s their own brother/son. My mom loved him so much, and coincidentally she died of pancreatic cancer, seven years ago, on his birthday. Everyone who’s met Stew can vouch for his sincerity, his compassion, kindness, generosity. He’s just a beautiful human being.

We then decided to get to know each other. So we traveled for 5 years testing our relationship. We were visiting many destinations like Dominica, Mauritius, Rome, Madrid, Bali, The Big Island of Hawaii, Maui, South of France including Monaco, Nice, Cape Farat, Cote d’ Azur, San Tropez, Cannes, London, Paris, South Africa, cities around the US, and other beautiful destinations. When we exhausted our list, we then decided to bring children into our relationship.

We settled into the suburbs of New York and birthed our first baby there, a fine paper and stationery boutique, Paper Passions. It kept me very busy before we decided to have our three beautiful children. They’ve since been our inspiration and our source of pride and joy. Our oldest son is 15, our daughter is 13, and our last son is 8.

For us, Valentine’s Day is extra special. It’s a time when we all exchange cards, both handmade and store-bought; we share treats, and Stew and I always find some way to celebrate. Since this year, we’re doing everything more low-key. On Friday, we celebrated with the kids. They wanted lobster, so I steamed lobster for the family. On Saturday, Stew prepared this delicious bowtie pasta alfredo with salmon, and we went for a long walk to get some boba tea. Yesterday, I prepared a delightful red beans soup dish. Since Stew is half Jamaican, he calls it stew peas. I added the rice because that’s how he enjoys it. His mother used to make this dish for him on special occasions, bringing back nostalgic memories of him growing up.

Stew’s mom has late-stage Alzheimer’s and currently lives with us. Stewart is her only child, and they share a special bond. She raised him as a single parent. Before my mom died, one of her last wishes for me was that we should take good care of Stew’s mom, who had just started to show early signs of dementia. We hope that she also enjoyed the stew peas and rice Stewart fed her, since she’s non-verbal or shows any emotions.

I enjoyed my dish without the rice and call it red beans soup with dumplings and smoked and salted pork (dubway, pois and vyan cochion). It’s a favorite on the island of Dominica. See the recipe here. I’ve posted it a few times on here. If you have questions about the recipe, please message me. Again, you can see the recipe here: Red beans soup recipe

We had a great time over the entire weekend and just enjoyed each other’s company. I love that we’re much closer as a family than we were pre-pandemic. We’re also more resourceful, finding ways to celebrate without breaking the bank.

So happy that I took this leap of faith. Sometimes you have to trust your instinct and go with your gut. I’m grateful for my family and appreciate their love and support. I enjoy feeding them!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your loved ones and hope you had a wonderful celebration.